In the middle of darkness,
no end in sight,
even my body feels wrong.
Before I even realize it,
it’s as if I’ve fallen into a deep, dark hole,
become someone I no longer recognize.
That’s where I am.
How did I ever have that kind of energy?
How was I ever that happy?
I turn it over and over, and still can’t understand.
Now it feels like I’ve been pushed off a cliff.
I just want to get out of here.
I want someone to help me.
And yet,
I don’t even know what to do.
I grow weary of this harsh version of myself.
At times like this,
bitter memories from the past
flash and fade like a spinning lantern.
“I’m tired,” I whisper to myself.
I don’t even have the space
to feel what I’m meant to learn from this.
And still,
there is one thing
just one thing, I want to hold onto.
That someday, somehow,
I will find my way out of here,
just as I always have before.
Yes
it has always been that way.
A path always opened up.
I’ve always been lifted back up.
I’ve always found my strength again.
The moment I return to myself
always comes.
When you long to run away,
the rescue boat has already set sail.
When you wish to be stronger,
you have already begun to grow stronger.
When you ache with the need to change,
you have already begun to change.
You just can’t see it yet
but it has already begun.
This must be time that’s needed.
There are things only visible in the dark.
Surely,
to know what pain feels like,
to understand what it means to suffer,
So that one day you can sit gently beside someone else
– That is why you are living through it now.
Nothing happens without meaning.
And so,
someday, without fail,
the day will come when the fog clears.
